December 25, 2011
Merry Christmas! {12}
It’s that time of year, when we remember Chris, and the wonderful things he did. I decided to celebrate by doing MATH!
I determined that to reach all the children on Earth who celebrate Christmas, Santa must travel at approximately 67 million miles per hour, or 10% of the speed of light, consuming an amount of energy equivalent to the calories in 1.1 quadrillion cookies! (or the entire electricity consumption of the United States over the 12 days of Christmas)
Assuming 720 million children (24% of the Christian population of 2.3 billion, plus a similar fraction of the 15% of the non-Christian population who celebrate Christmas), who have been Nice and receive presents, or Naughty and receive a lump of coal, spread out over the land surface of the Earth – since the distance must be covered, even if no children are present, 2 metric tons of Santa, sleigh, and reindeer… an adult reindeer weighs around 300-350 lbs, just like Santa! (and we’ll assume the cargo is in some kind of massless state or extradimensional Bag of Holding), and about 150 calories per cookie or 625 joules. AND, that’s if the task is divided among Santa Claus and the other gift-delivering beings in other Christmas traditions, such as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Christkindl and Grandfather Frost, all assumed to be piloting vehicles of similar mass…
And of course, a heavy dose of Fudge Factor, because who doesn’t love fudge!
Anyway, enjoy the relativistic effects of proximity to Santa’s hypersleigh as it burns through the lower atmosphere like a nuclear comet, and I hope you all get what you really want this year! And I hope that what you all want this year, is to buy an extra expensive copy of Sexual Fantasy Kingdom: Pirate Amnesty, or one of my other products! So I can go out and get what I really want this year! ^_^
The only Christmasy picture I had was of this angel, so here is a picture of a Christmas angel.
I bet you'd like to have her on top of your Tannenbaum! ZING!
12 Comments
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Dec 27, 2011 @ 02:12:22
Awesome calculation. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!
Dec 30, 2011 @ 15:30:44
Yes, merry christmas to you, Galaxy! (thought i had already posted this)
Dec 31, 2011 @ 05:20:15
I guess it’s getting a little late to wish you a merry Christmas, so, happy new year Galaxy!
Dec 31, 2011 @ 10:22:59
Although I don’t belive in Christmas and New Year, I wish you best in future times Galaxy
Feb 15, 2012 @ 17:02:47
…How can you not believe in New Year’s? ^_^’
Jan 31, 2012 @ 00:11:36
Hey Galaxy! Any word on how SFK5 is comin’ along?! I check the website everyday for updates but haven’t seen anything lately. Just thought I’d ask!
Feb 01, 2012 @ 16:49:41
I know, I’ve been neglecting the site lately, but I’m hoping SFK5 will be along pretty soon (preferably before I have to pay my taxes)! >_<
Feb 01, 2012 @ 22:56:48
I hope so, I’ve been patient but am still excited for it!
Feb 01, 2012 @ 08:28:19
Ahah you are playing Skyrim so you don’t have time to make SFK 5
Feb 01, 2012 @ 16:48:36
I wish! My friends are all like “OMG you’re not playing Skryrim, it’s the best game ever!! Why aren’t you playing it?” and I always say “I don’t have time!” so… maybe I’ll celebrate with a new game, maybe that one, after I finish SFK5.
Feb 04, 2012 @ 05:54:24
Not playing Skyrim to work on SFK 5? Now, that’s what I call dedication to your work!
More seriously: considering the quality of your work so far, I’m sure everyone will be happy to wait a little longer if it means getting another quality SFK installment in the end. Take your time, and release whenever it’s ready.
Feb 02, 2012 @ 09:17:53
No rush, and please feel no pressure my dear Galaxy. We wish you only to keep everything on schedule, and carve SFK5 to perfection as ever you did.