Off-topic: Transsexuals are Awesome
I’m angry, you guys. I’m so angry I’m literally blogging. Two of my close friends got harassed at a bar and almost got into a fight last night. Like a few of my close friends, they’re both transsexuals, and lots of people in the world have a problem with that.
Lots of people think it’s okay to harass transsexuals, to shout at them, to call them names, to threaten them. Lots of people think it’s okay to commit violence against transsexuals, to assault, rape, and brutally murder them… but it’s not okay. I just want to say that right now.
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And that’s just the violent crime that transsexuals are threatened with every day. In most places they can also legally be fired, evicted, denied medical care, kicked out of publicly accessible places, generally treated like deviant freaks, and sometimes arrested just for walking along the street – because police often suspect any transsexual of being a prostitute. It’s not just street thugs who hate on transsexuals. It’s cops, courts, family members, doctors, paramedics, I wouldn’t even be surprised to hear a story about firefighters refusing to put out a burning building where a transsexual lived – even though one of my other friends is a badass firefighter and she’s transsexual too… she’d save ALL THE PEOPLE!
Why does this shit happen? In fact, why am I telling you this?
Futanari characters are not the same as transsexuals. Some of you may like futanari porn, but not like transsexual porn (I am not one of those people, for the record, my favorite porn star is Bailey Jay… oh the things I would do to that girl). Many of you may not like reality to interfere with your fantasy. Most of you probably don’t give much thought to the real lives of transsexuals.
I want you to.
Two of my real life close friends could have gotten hurt. I’m glad they didn’t. They’re both wonderful people. One is my neighbor and lives with another transsexual, they have me over sometimes to watch kung fu movies on Netflix, or to play D&D. Her house is messy, her cat is almost comically mean, she cooks really well, she’s an educated feminist, and a snuggle-whore (she’ll snuggle with anybody). The other one plays WoW, and paintball, loves good beer, tells jokes so raunchy she can embarrass anyone, wants to be a cop, and looks great in a dress when she can be bothered to doll herself up.
In my life I’m generally surrounded by cute, smart, funny, nerdy gamers. Some of them are girls. Some of those girls have dicks and some have vaginas. Some of them are guys, and some of the guys have dicks and some have vaginas. The world should get the fuck over that. If they’re not your type, sexually, move on with your life! If they are someone’s type sexually, that person is not a freak. That person is not a freak.
Transsexuals aren’t some kind of fetish object. They’re just people. They’re wonderful people, they’re people who it’s okay to be friends with, to be attracted to, to DATE, to sleep with, to bring home to meet your parents, to marry. They’re just people who are sometimes so normal it’s boring! So normal in all ways except for one… well two. One is the obvious biological difference. Here’s the other difference:
Every (transitioning) transsexual knows the harassment and danger they face because of who they are, and they face it. Every single one of them is willing to brave that danger just to be true to themselves, to be who they really are, in their hearts – even if society doesn’t like it. Even if they get disowned by their families, even if they get killed. That is the most amazing thing in the world. That is also the most respectable thing in the world.
How much less bravery than that, does it take for anyone else to say they like and respect transsexuals? How much less bravery is required for anyone else to step in when someone talks shit about transsexuals and say “that’s bullshit, transsexuals are awesome”? How much less bravery even than that, does it take for someone to say “transsexuals are just people, and they deserve fair and equal treatment”? That’s all it takes to be an ally, to help make the world a better, safer place.
Compared to someone who faces death just to be true to themselves, how brave do you really have to be to say, “I’m not gay, that’s a girl – I don’t care if she has a dick.” ? Is that scary? Is that difficult? To stand up and be honest even if it makes other people uncomfortable? Because it doesn’t sound like much to me…
Because that’s true! She is a girl! Trust me, I’m a lesbian. I know a girl when I see one (not that all lesbians agree about transsexuals). Guys have never done it for me. Once in a while I see a guy who is cute, or I like his personality so much that I feel a little tingly. But a hot girl makes my heart race, a hot girl makes me stupid! A hot girl makes me flirt so hard that I come out sounding like Zapp Branigan! >_< I’m not out to try to find “someone with a vagina”, or “someone who doesn’t have a penis”, that’s not my criteria. I’m out to find a woman, a woman who is smart and funny and sexy and nerdy and has a positive attitude, someone I get along with, who makes great jokes, likes my guitar-playing, and is not allergic to cats. Then… sex is fun! Just about everybody’s got hands and a mouth, and can operate sex toys, regardless of what else you want to do.
I’ve been amazed at how often I’ve found girls like that to date. And literally about half of the girls I’ve dated have been transsexuals. Why? Why the fuck not? I don’t care what genitals somebody has, because to me, sex is an interaction of people, with personalities, not an interaction of body parts. Hell, if they had both parts that would be great! I wish I had both!
I think most people interested in futanari porn take a step in that direction anyway, and I think that’s great! I want to live in a world were even self-identified STRAIGHT MEN can say “I think that girl is hot, and I would totally suck her cock”. Why NOT extend that fantasy into reality? Because believe me, sucking a girl’s cock is about the hottest thing ever (and interestingly, girls who take hormones don’t have sperm, so the semen that comes out isn’t nasty, it’s sweet like what comes out of any other woman).
Note: some transsexual women are very uncomfortable with having what they consider “the wrong parts” so as sexual partners they may prefer servicing, rather than receiving. I don’t recommend trying to suck a girl’s cock, if she’s not going to enjoy it. Likewise just because someone has a penis doesn’t mean they want to stick it in you – just about every transsexual I’ve ever spoken to has had no interest in fucking a guy in the ass. They usually think it’s gross. Just, FYI.
Ultimately though, it’s not all about sex. It’s about wonderful, interesting people who have the courage to face a world that doesn’t want them in it. People who are awesome. Let’s just acknowledge it once in a while!
Let me just wrap up with a few notes on terminology, for those of you who want to be good allies to transsexuals and other interesting people:
- Guy/Man/Dude – a person who presents himself as a man. Treat him like a man and refer to him as “he/him”.
- Girl/Woman/Chick – a person who presents herself as a woman. Treat her like a woman and refer to her as “she/her”.
- Gender or Gender Identity – a person’s internal sense of identity regarding whether they are a man or a woman or something else.
- Transsexual, Transgender Person, or Trans Person – a person who was assigned one gender at birth, but identifies with the other – many transsexuals change (transition) from the assigned gender, to the one they prefer. Sometimes they do that by taking hormones, having surgery, sometimes it’s just a change of clothing and public identity. The degree to which trans people transition depends on what makes them most comfortable with themselves, and what they can afford. I’m bad about this because I tend to conflate the terms “transsexual” and “transgender” – usually a transsexual is someone who wants to transition “all the way”, to have a sex change operation, and a transgender person is not necessarily going to do that… I’m not sure what else makes the terms different.
- Cissexual, Cisgender Person, or Cis Person – a person who is not a transsexual – ie most people. A person who is comfortable with the gender they were assigned at birth. Since both types of people are PEOPLE, it’s a handy term to have when talking about them. Also having the available terminology be “person” or “trans person” – it means that trans people are not “normal” by not being the default person. All the trans people I’ve known are as normal (or not normal) as everybody else.
- Genderqueer, Gender fluid, Genderfuck, a few related terms – a person who doesn’t necessarily identify with one gender or another, or changes their presentation of gender at different times, to suit their mood.
- Intersex – someone who has a biologically ambiguous gender, and may choose to present as a man, a woman, or something else.
- Transvestite – not a transsexual. In U.S. terminology this is someone who dresses in the clothes commonly associated with the opposite gender, because doing so gives them a sexual thrill. From what I can gather it’s usually straight men who do this as a sexual fetish, who are <em>sometimes</em> also attracted to other transvestites. I know in the U.K. and probably lots of other places it’s conflated with other forms of crossdressing. My favorite comedian, Eddie Izzard calls himself a transvestite, but in U.S. social studies terms, he’d be a crossdresser.
- Crossdresser – not a transsexual either. In U.S. terminology this is someone who dresses in the clothes commonly associated with the opposite gender because they enjoy it, or don’t care about society’s rules for how someone is supposed to dress. It may or may not have any sexual connotation for them, and they may or may not dress in clothes typical to their gender at certain times as well. Crossdressers are usually straight, not gay.
- Drag Queen / Drag King – Usually a gay person, who enjoys dressing up in an exaggerated costume of the opposite gender, usually for the sake of performance, entertainment, and fun. Sometimes they do it all the time, and sometimes it’s just a part-time thing. Some drag performers end up realizing they’re transsexual and pursuing transition, but most don’t.
- Tranny / Shemale – these are usually offensive terms. I have never used them on my site. They’re often the last words someone hears before being assaulted or murdered. Some people on this list might use “tranny” as an affectionate term, but it’s a loaded word. It shouldn’t be used by someone who is not a “tranny” themselves, any more than the “n-word” should be used by people who are not black. Likewise lots of trans people don’t think the word should be used affectionately either. It’s a symbol of the discrimination, danger, and oppression trans people face every day – and for someone who is not “one of them” to use it is to act in concert with that discrimination and oppression. Also not a good way to make a first impression!
- Dickgirl – okay I do use this term, along with futanari. These terms aren’t specifically referring to transsexuals, and… I don’t see the negative in referring to futanari characters that way – it’s just a vulgar descriptive term. I would never use that term to refer to a transsexual woman.
- Heterosexual – someone who is attracted to people of the opposite gender, for example a man who is attracted to women.
- Homosexual – someone who is attracted to the same gender, for example a woman who loves the ladies.
- Bisexual – someone who is attracted to men or women.
- Pansexual, Omnisexual, etc. – usually people who don’t care what gender other people are, to determine whether they’re attracted to them.
- Asexual – people who either don’t feel sexual attraction at all, or are not interested in or don’t enjoy sexual activity with a partner, or sometimes even alone. Some people literally don’t have a sex drive, others simply don’t want a sex partner, or are not capable of having a sex partner for whatever reason. I like the fact that being Asexual is also called being Ace. At least they have a cool name, because they must have a hell of a time, otherwise.
- Queer – <em>usually</em> refers to anyone of a gender or sexual orientation outside of the mainstream. This is a loaded term, since it is used as an insult by people who are not (openly) queer, but also a lot of queer people (like me) use it casually as a catch-all term for our fellow lesbians, bisexuals, trans people, drag performers, etc. We’re such a welcoming and inclusive group that the acronym LGBT has expanded as far as LGBTQQIAP which is pretty cumbersome for conversation (that’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, asexual, and pansexual). If you see a second A it refers to Allies, I just wouldn’t refer to Allies as queer people.
- Ally – usually a straight, cis person who openly respects, likes, and supports gay and trans people (and the big list of queers, basically). Sometimes they attend Pride parades and events (which are AWESOME by the way, gays really know how to throw a parade!), and participate in protests and rallies. Sometimes they’re just people who openly state the opinion that these types of people don’t deserve discrimination and hatred, and should be given respect and equal rights.
- Normal – this term is bullshit.
…whew. I think I’ve got it out of my system now. Back to your regularly scheduled porn. ^_^
Aug 20, 2012 @ 11:46:05
Greetings;
I just stumbled into this post and wanted to leave a comment: “normal” isn’t necessarily bullshit. The term is Ok when referring to two vectors whose dot-product is the null (zero) vector.
Now, leaving analytic geometry jokes aside, my actual comment: while your work proves that you are a great artist, this post proves that you are a great person.
A comment on terminology: “transsexual” in general refers to individuals who strongly identify as the gender opposite to which they were assigned at birth; and quite often implies an intention to undergo transition (be it social, hormonal, surgical, or any combination of those). “Transgender” is normally used as an umbrella term that may refer to any form of gender non-conformity. In other words, the term “transsexual” would be limited to those individuals whose identity still fits within the male – female binary distinction, while “transgender” would also include androgynous, bi-gender, agender, … individuals.
PS: BTW, you’re right: we transsexuals are awesome! Just don’t forget that many cis-gender people may also be awesome, and you are a clear example of that 😉
Aug 20, 2012 @ 16:43:44
Okay okay, normal as a noun is okay (the term is used in 3D art as well), but the adjective is worthless.
Thanks for clarifying those terms, like I said I’m not great about those… partially because I find “transsexual” is such a loaded term with ignorant cis people because of the word “sexual” in it, so I don’t actually use the word very much. Trans women in particular have enough trouble being thought of as perverted deceivers who are trying to sneak into women-only spaces to satisfy some sexual fetish (or some urge to dominate and appropriate female experiences, as if they’re spies for the patriarchy – though that’s a different issue altogether)… I tend to think “transgender” is less ambiguous to poorly informed people, despite being broader in scope.
And thank you, but I could never forget that I’m awesome. ^_~
Sep 09, 2012 @ 08:07:44
Interesting topic with interesting opinion. Let me turn myself for the sake of this post in to cold-blooded program developer and represent whole humanity as program. If program A behaves like B, while having properties of A, there is only one option here – to remake the program to have properties of program B. Every other program behavior is error and is not acceptable. Now back to your topic.
As you said Gender (Identity) is internal issue. That’s right, but it also means if girl, feel herself as girl, but have dick, there is only option to keep within standard rule box – she must use necessary means to become 100% girl physically, because mentally she already 100% girls. It’s known error within humanity (alongside many other errors), when human physically boy but have mentality of a girls. I believe, or at least I want to, that if it were possible and easily accessible by everybody all transsexuals would reconstruct or change their physical bodies according their mental image. Currently technology of this type, that allows to completely change and reconstruct physical body aren’t that advanced and not enough fail-safe, so at least 20-30 years before it will be possible to change physical body on DNA level with 100% safety.
Personally I don’t have anything against transsexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals & etc. As long as they good and trustworthy people I will be glad to work with them, and I am not interested in people’s private life as long as it doesn’t affects me.
Regarding general attitude. People created rule box in order for everybody to be like everybody, but they don’t understand that they are themselves are reason for appearance of other people that doesn’t belong to rule box or surpass it’s borders. Humanity aren’t perfect and such events as could happen with two your friends are will happen until humanity will evolve to another level. I could understand what you and your friends feel, the reason – because I’m Jew and attitude toward my race very similar, once even whole country decided to wipe us out, though they failed, It was probably in 1939 if I remember correctly 🙂
Be strong and tell your friends be strong and everything will be ok. By they way according pictures this one “Sexual Fantasy Kingdom vol. 4: Futanari Kingdom” looks good, I will buy it sometime. And if by some reasons on my credit card billing I will see “XXX PORN CARTOON GIRLS WITH BIG DICKS OMG I LOVE DICKS!, Inc.” it will be hilarious, I will be sure to post this screenshot somewhere 🙂
Sep 11, 2012 @ 14:04:57
Thanks for your comment! The one thing you forgot – some people are not happy being 100% male or 100% female. Some people prefer to be somewhere in between, or off the scale entirely. It’s just like with sexuality – some people are gay, some people are straight, but lots of people are somewhere in between, not just bisexual, but other sexual orientations too… including asexual.
Sep 17, 2012 @ 20:53:20
Read your whole blog here and then I come to…
“Normal – this term is bullshit.”
at the end and I have to say…
YES. As a heterosexual male (but yes, I wouldn’t mind sucking a chick’s dick if she got me going that far enough! Though still hetero in a sense that I really just love the feminine persona/features.) I agree with you all the way Galaxy! Sick of people mis-using terms, over-using terms, the whole 9 yards of offense. There’s no common decency wherever you look, with the few who understand or at least have consideration. Every time I hear a conversation that strays into the direction of hatred against homosexuality or the sorts that stray from mainstream hetero culture, I storm right in and give them the “So if there’s something different about you too, Can I make fun of that?” Seek a feature on them that I find awkward and give them the old ‘judging others when you’re just as shit as anything else in this room talking like that’. Excuse me for my language. If only people can learn to have some rationality in this world… oh well. Morons and Ignorant folks can’t help but keep their eyes glued to the TV screens and Facebook all day without even thinking about what the heck they’re watching in the first place. You’re my hero Galaxy! I love your work. Keep at it! 🙂
Jan 01, 2013 @ 09:55:31
Thanks so much for your comment, and for standing up to haters! <3
Oct 04, 2012 @ 15:53:24
first thing first, i’m a guy and i’m a big fans of your work and i have all your games, and since i read this article i totally agree with you, there’s nothing wrong to love transsexuals ,seriously for me it’s fine cuz they’re human too like us, and i don’t mind to have a relationship with them even married. It’s totally OK with me, so i will always support you GALAXY PINK.
sorry about my bad english cuz i’m asian 😛
Jan 01, 2013 @ 09:57:52
Thank you! ^_^
Dec 02, 2012 @ 23:09:58
I’m a pre-op FtM transsexual and would just like to congratulate you on the fantastically written piece, which I just so happened to stumble across! I’m thankful I somehow managed to come across this post, it’s brightened my day enormously. The support, understanding and maturity is fantastic and a value I wish more people possessed! Gender and sex isn’t binary, not black and white and I wish more people would accept and understand that. One day huh?
Wishing you a fantastic day from Australia,
Jace 🙂
Jan 01, 2013 @ 10:24:41
Thanks so much for your comment… I wonder how people are stumbling across this post.
I’m so glad it brightened your day! Also… I apologize that I was basically using the term “transsexual” throughout the post to refer only to trans women. You guys must see that a lot, but it doesn’t make it okay. If I write about this topic again, I’ll do better.
<3
Jan 14, 2013 @ 23:58:09
I found it(just now) because I recently found a couple of my SFK games while I was cleaning out some old stuff. I thought ‘What’s Galaxy doing now days?” So, I looked you up and found this great topic. Thanks for posting it and (as someone who is gender fluid) the comment above in Sept.
Feb 28, 2016 @ 14:42:37
I LOVE this post! I identify as a straight man who is not afraid of dicks, so romantically straight, somewhat sexually bi I guess you could say. So while I personally have not had to deal with attacks like these, I know people that have. I’ve had friends spanning the spectrum from homophobic to flagrantly gay to post-op trans. Anyway I hope everyone reads this post at some point in their life and thus understands what all the terms mean and can begin to understand that people’s identity is as varied as their personality. Thank you for such a detailed and informative piece!
Mar 30, 2016 @ 13:27:47
Thanks very much! I’m always happy to hear about postmodern straight guys! ^__^